hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
