the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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