ugly people sure do ruin things
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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