JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
