I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
