Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
