it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
