is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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