is your mom at the bar?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sarcasm needs its own font
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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