the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
