We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
