it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
