its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
