I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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