i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
