Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
