i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
