I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Watching her eat just hurts me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
