Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
