i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
