what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
