Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
