sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
