i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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