So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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