So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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