We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
