Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
