Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
