So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
