Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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