Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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