great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
