awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
