For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
