he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
