I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
