theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
