Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
