she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
