i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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