its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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