your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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