Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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