you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
