there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
