I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
