i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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