everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have post one night stand depression
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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