Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
