i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
